May 16-18, 2008

A Guy Thing -

I rented this movie for two reasons. And those two reasons are Julia Stiles and Selma Blair. I want to marry Julia Stiles. If I see Julia Stiles, I will drop down on one knee and propose on the spot. I will mug an old lady for her wedding ring to use then and there. She's got this girl-next-door-that-grew-up-to-be-fucking-hot-but-still-retained-her-
sense-of-fun-and-quirkiness vibe going on. And Selma Blair I want in a way that will likely get me a restraining order. Good god she was SMOKING HOT in this film. Her character was a liiiiiittle annoying, but it was designed to be that so you wouldn't feel bad when the main character broke up with her. I gave away the main thrust of the film, but you know what, it doesn't matter, and I'll explain why in a bit. The point is, Selma Blair was so hot she made my pants smolder.

The basic premise is this: a slightly nebbish guy (Jason Lee) is getting married to a gorgeous if not a little stuffy woman (Selma Blair). After his bachelor party, he wakes up in bed with one of the dancers (Julia Stiles). The dancer turns out to be the quirky wild-child cousin of his fiance. Hijinks ensue.

Though this is sort of an indie flick, it a straight-out-of-the-box romantic comedy. It took the formula and stuck to it like superglue. There are no surprises here. None. If you've seen a romantic comedy, you've seen this movie. Everything moves as expected.

Jason Lee was an odd choice for the main character. I like Jason Lee, I think he's a good actor, but his part in this film is something of a milquetoast and that is not what Jason Lee plays best. He's better at witty, acerbic, bitter generation X'ers (or white trash philosophers as I'm led to believe). He does his best with the role, but it never quite comes off. You never really feel the connection between him and Julia Stiles, which is absolutely necessary to make a romantic comedy be successful. He does play the comedic parts very well (though the crotch scratching scene was a bit over the top). This film also has a cameo part by a little known but totally awesome actor/comedian Larry Miller. The rare mp3 I have of Larry Miller doing his 5 Levels of Drinking bit is one of my treasured possessions.

Grade: B-

Schizopolis -

The only term I can think of to describe this film is post modern. It's weird for the sake of weird. This film is basically Steven Soderbergh screwing around. There is a story there, but it's really not the point. The point is screwing with film language. The closest analog to this film would be Mulholland Dr. by David Lynch. However, Mulholland Dr. is more weird/creepy whereas Schizopolis is more weird/funny. It's sort of an off the all comedy. But not off the wall in a Zucker brothers way, off the wall in a meta way. I'm going to quote some passages to give you a feel for how the film goes.

Fletcher Munson: [sunnily, on homecoming] Generic greeting!
Mrs. Munson: [warmly] Generic greeting returned!
[they kiss and chuckle at each other]
Fletcher Munson: Imminent sustenance.
Mrs. Munson: Overly dramatic statement regarding upcoming meal.
Fletcher Munson: Oooh! False reaction indicating hunger and excitement!

Minister at funeral: [deadpan] Lester Richards is dead. And aren't you glad it wasn't you? Don't you wish you felt something? How many men here are attracted to Shelley, his lovely wife? She's a babe. And how many women here wish that their husbands would drop dead and leave them a big fat insurance policy? Yes, I thought so. Hell, it'll be years before you figure out what Lester's death really means. So let's forget the blah blah blah, and go have a drink. Amen.

Newswoman: A New Mexico woman was named Final Arbiter of Taste & Justice today, ending God's lengthy search for someone to straighten this country out. Eileen Harriet Palglace will have final say on every known subject, including who should be put to death, what clothes everyone should wear, what movies suck, and whether bald men who grow ponytails should still get laid.

Mrs. Munson: Y'know, there was a time... there was a time when I felt like an old rag with a stain you couldn't get out, and you... you were like a piece of rotting fruit on a window sill. And it was great.

These may sound like passages from a Zucker brothers film, but where the Zucker brothers do it with a nod and a wink, Soderbergh did with a completely straight face. Zucker comedy is a clown jumping out of a cake and smacking you with a pie. This comedy is a businessman jumping out of a cake and reading you stock reports from the Wall Street Journal. I guess it's sort of Python-esque, but with more overall coherence.

I liked the film, but I like weird for the sake of weird. Plus I like it when people screw around with the rules of film. I think some people like to read deeper meanings into the film, but I sincerely doubt that's what Soderbergh was going for. Kind of like people read things into Mulholland Dr. that aren't there. Lynch made Mulholland Dr. to screw with people. Face it, folks.

If anything, you should see this film because a large portion of it is dedicated to taking shots at Scientology. That alone is worth the price of admission.

Grade: B

Escape From New York -

Yes, I hadn't seen it. I think that violates some geek credentials or whatnot, but I've seen it now. I wanted to see what the hubbub was about.

Frankly, the film didn't do much for me. Yes, Snake is a pretty good badass, but there are better badasses out there. However, that may be a contextual thing as I don't know if there were better badasses out there at the time this film was made. He may have been one of the original badasses. The supporting cast is pretty good. Lee Van Cleef, Donald Pleasance, Isaac Hayes. The premise is pretty good, though by now it's probably a bit overplayed. Again, a contextual disadvantage. The production values are a bit on the sparse side, but I'm guessing this was sort of an underground cult film, so that's to be expected. It's just, there wasn't a heck of a lot of action, and there wasn't much else in the film to support it outside of the action. Needed more Snake being a badass and less Snake wandering around. In the world of John Carpenter films, I'd say They Live is better than this film.

So, on the whole, I'm guessing not viewing this when I was young/when it first came out sort of ruined it for me as a geek mainstay. Most of themes and styles used in the film have been reused and better. No fault of the film, mainly a fault of aging. I will say that the look of the bombed out, dilapidated Manhattan was really good. Some of the underground stuff was a bit too much, a bit Thunderdome-ish, but the scene of flying through the empty and lifeless Manhattan towers was really awesome.

Also, I want Adrienne Barbeau. I...want...her. I don't think I have to explain why.

Grade: C+