July 18-20, 2008

Stigmata -

Funny story about Stigmata. I actually went to see it when it came out in the theaters, with my sister. We got about halfway through the film when a fire broke out in the building somewhere. We had to evacuate. I don't think anyone got hurt, but we never got to see the rest of the film. So that's why I rented this, I wanted to see how it ended.

This movie actually reminded me a lot of Jacob's Ladder. They are sort of derived from the same place. SPOILERS AHEAD. Start with a fact. A little known fact that is A) controversial, B) hushed up and C) has broad range appeal. In Jacob's Ladder it was that the US Government experimented on its own troops in the Vietnam War. In Stigmata it's that an ancient scroll was discovered that could very well be Jesus' own Gospel, his own words, and it has been denied by the Catholic church. Start with that fact, then build a story that is tangential to that fact. Not a story about those facts, but a story about people that were affected by those facts. In one case it's a soldier that was killed by his comrades under the influence of the drug and and the subsequent happenings as he dies. In the other, it's a young woman that becomes by possessed by the spirit of a priest that translated the scroll and the happenings as the spirit is determined that the gospel become public.

About the movie, it was a decent flick. Lots of the imagery was well done and things were done to an appropriately yet not over-the-top level. The music was interesting, I saw that the soundtrack was done by Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins fame. The story was intriguing enough. That acting was decent. I really like Patricia Arquette and she made a decent showing here. Gabriel Byrne is like a slightly more lively William Hurt. His acting style is more of a mirror, a blank slate. He's generally not strong enough to carry a film on his own, but he's great at having other actors play off of him. The quality of his performance is usually dictated by the performance of the actors opposite him. In this case I think Arquette and Byrne played off each other well.

This is sort of a "small" film, like Jacob's Ladder. The world it creates is small. There are only a few characters, only a few locations, and it creates the feeling that the film could be contained in a small glass globe. Not like a movie based on a play, that has a different feel. But, because the film is a "small" film (and note that has nothing to do with size of production, but just a feel) it has a tendency to get into a niche in your mind and kind of hang out there. Like a seed in a sidewalk crack or a pip in between your teeth. It'll stick in there, most of the time not discreetly, but every once in a while it'll pop out.

On a side note, I wonder how Gabriel Byrne's sitcom did.

Grade: B

Blade II -

Sequel to the B movie action flick Blade. I was interested in the film partially because it was directed by Guillermo Del Toro, celebrated director of Pan's Labyrinth, the Hellboy movies, and upcoming blockbusters The Hobbit and....sigh....The Hobbit II (don't get me started). I'm not familiar with Del Toro's work, so I wanted to start getting a feel for it.

I actually like the first Blade. It had this neat sort of indy-film feel to it. It was an action film about vampires, sure, but it had some artsy edges to it. Not overblown, but nicely accented. And it was serious, it took itself seriously which is really the only way these types of films can work. Making something intentionally campy is a recipe for disaster. I wish Mr. Del Toro had realized that.

Whereas the original Blade was artsy and dark and serious, this film is just dumb. The plot, what little there is of it, is silly and not developed at all. Some of the plot points were ridiculous. Resurrecting Whistler? Fuck you, I don't think so. The acting was either wooden or extreme (with the exception of the awesome Ron Perlman, who is awesome). The set design looked like the guy who designed sets for the 60's Batman TV show became a goth and watched the Matrix 14 times. Rooms with pipes of blood creating pools of more blood? An underground rave with leatherclad goths? Where was Morpheus, eh?

Obviously this is an action movie, so it is supposed to be carried by the strength of the action scenes. It wasn't. The action scenes were carbon copy Matrix style, aka no originality, and much of the action style was done simply to look cool. I hate that. I want it to look cool because it works with the natural flow of the fighting, not because you pause the damn film as Blade catches his sunglasses. It's like a bunch of thirteen year old boys held Woo Ping at gunpoint and forced him to choreograph the fights the way they wanted it.

As always, the film does have a redeeming point or two. There were a couple good laughs. And there was Leonor Varela, who could be best described by "humina humina humina humina humina."

Let's hope this was a fluke by Mr. Del Toro, though I don't hold much hope. My understanding is that his major criticism is that he's all style, no substance, and if he fucks up The Hobbit there will be blood. And frankly, I don't trust anyone that wants to make a sequel to the Hobbit created with their own material. Why? Why must you do this to me?

Grade: D

Resident Evil -

I rented this.....because? I have no idea. Seemed like the thing to do. I never played the games.

Based on the first 10 minutes of this film I had some hope for it. It actually had a very creepy and well done prelude, and the opening of actual main arc had a very good video game feel to it. You are thrown into a world where shit is going on and you don't know a damn thing. You are given a very important task with comrades, figure it out as you go along, and the truth will be revealed to you through a series of flashbacks until it all makes sense.

Then things went downhill.

I thought there was going to be some hint of a plot. There wasn't. None. Period. Zip. Zilch. The plot of this film made Blade II's plot look like Hamlet. I'll give you the whole plot. Giant evil corporation makes evil virus that turns people into zombies, said virus gets loose in a facility. Military needs to go inside and take care of it, then get back out in three hours. That's it. There you go, you've seen the movie.

This movie is supposed to be carried by the awesome badassedness of Milla Jovovich. Milla Jovovich is absolutely stunningly gorgeous in this film, and she is indeed badass. I think. Fact of the matter is, we don't even see her do anything remotely badass until FIFTY MINUTES INTO THE FILM. And that is just one small thing. In fact, there is very little of Ms. Jovovich being badass at all. She shoots a couple things, smacks some things in the head with an axe, and that's it. This film needed her to be an asskicker, and she wasn't given the opportunity to kick much ass, outside of a few puppies. No, all the action was done by the military unit, who are as interesting as staring at beige carpeting. The most intriguing character was the unit commander, who seemed very cool, and they killed him off within a half hour. Even Michelle Rodriguez wasn't that entertaining.

The film sucked. The acting sucked, the action sucked, the plot didn't exist, the sets were rediculous, the production values were weak, the special effects were atrocious. I had to double check to make sure it wasn't an Uwe Boll film. The only redeeming part of the film was the end. Partly because it was over. Partly because it had the trademark horror film ending. Just when you think everything was going to be ok, the shit hits the fan, you are left with a vision of the world even more hopeless than before, and the door is wide open for a sequel. It was nice to see something in this film executed correctly.

Grade: F